Life as a new parent

This blog post is going to be a bit different. It'll be a mixture of my experience of being a new parent, and training during unprecedented - are we allowed to say that word again yet? - times.

If you’re thinking of having kids soon, some of the things I write about may be helpful. Or they may be absolutely useless. Because what worked today might not work tomorrow. It might not even work in ten minutes’ time. Welcome to the chaos of parenthood. It’s the best job in the world.

There’s something otherworldly about the beginning of parenthood. It’s like each day starts with this perfect, untouched canvas of sand you get at beaches in warm countries. Regardless of what happened yesterday, you begin each day with that same blank canvas. You could’ve built the world’s greatest sandcastle – it doesn’t matter; today, you start afresh.

There’s something meditative, almost Zen-like, about this constant resetting to zero. It forces you to focus on the process because it’s a task without an end.

On those days when it felt like all you’ve done is not drown, that was something to hold onto: tomorrow will be another day. I particularly appreciate how Gussy seems to hold no grudges or resentment. I could feel like a rubbish parent after a tough day, but then she’d wake up the next morning, smile, shit herself and all would be right with the world. Happy days!

Pre-Augusta

In the months leading up to Gussy's due date, I wondered what my relationship with cycling would look like as a parent. I thought a lot about all aspects of parenting, actually. The kind of dad I wanted to be, the things I’d need to do and learn to raise Gussy bilingual, working arrangements, how it would all come together, etc.

Sophie and I talked a lot about what our new life would look like – our thoughts, expectations, the importance of maintaining a sense of self, among other things. I think that really helped to envisage those first few weeks and months.

Obviously, nothing can prepare you for becoming a parent, but we both felt as ready as we could be.

Paternal Leave

Gussy was born on the Friday morning and I had three weeks’ paternal leave. We quite quickly got into a routine where we’d wake up, make a couple of coffees and head into the woods with the dogs for half an hour with one of us carrying Gussy. When we got back, I’d jump on the turbo for an hour and then crack on with the day.

Those three weeks were very special and I feel very grateful to have been able to spend so much quality time as a new family. We were also fortunate to have Sophie’s mum stay a few times to help with Gussy’s witching hour grizzlies.

Initially, I took a few days off the bike and then started to think about what I wanted to do on the turbo with the hour a day I would make time for. 

Going from 14 hours/week down to seven was a big volume drop, so the obvious parameter to change would have been the intensity. But I also knew my ability to recover was going to be hampered by reduced quality and quantity of sleep as well as general fatigue from being a new parent.

And I was hesitant to do any intensity because the repercussions of overtraining/under-recovering now impacted someone much more important than me! For those three weeks, I did nothing above 300W or below 215W, with the most common session sitting right on the z2/z3 border ~245W. I played around with some high- and low-cadence sessions, just to keep things interesting. 

It felt a bit odd, riding well within myself and being fresh all the time. It definitely made me realise how much fatigue I'm used to carrying around with me. The first few months of parenthood has felt quite similar to one of my DIY training camps!

Back to work

I’m obliged to be in the office once a week which gives me a good excuse to get 3.5-4 hours on the bike every week. I generally take the commutes quite easy although sometimes I’ll do some efforts on the way home – it depends on how I feel.

A big part of how I feel obviously depends on how we sleep. We’ve been fortunate in that Gussy has slept pretty well so far. Sophie usually wakes me up a couple of times to change nappies and I fall asleep quite quickly. I’ve been using a SnoozeBand for around six months now and I listen to the sound of a heavy rainstorm. It works really well for me.

It was some point around the middle of June that we settled into a rhythm and Sophie and I spoke about doing some local TTs. I pencilled in a few with the proviso that I’d only race if things were settled at home.

Race 1 – Hilly 17

The first race on my list was the Hilly TT. It’s a proper sporting course which doesn’t really suit me, but I love how it’s a strategic race of attrition.

327W normalised for 48 minutes felt pretty good all things considered! I could feel that the top end wasn't quite there - it felt like I was missing a gear whenever I really tried to push hard. But I had a lot of fun tearing around the lanes and it was lovely to catch up with a few people.

With a handful of 10-mile TTs in the pipeline, I tentatively reintroduced intensity, settling on a weekly race pace session on the turbo. I had done a similar block in 2021 which led to power PBs which I hadn't bettered. (Although a more aggressive position meant I had gone faster on all but one course - more on that to come...)

I repeated the same 5 x 4 minute session six times, aiming to add 5W each week. Some sessions were easier than others, but generally they felt good. After a long period of not racing, I often forget what it’s like to feel comfortable and be able to think clearly when you’re on the limit. Psychologically, I think this session helps with that, particularly with being able to hold a tight position and stay in control of the effort.

(I had hoped to culminate this block of workouts with a race on the A21 on 20 August, but it was cancelled. That’s four races cancelled on that course this season. Its days are numbered.)

Race 2 – East Peckham

The second TT I did was on 6 July – so I’d done the 5 x 4 minutes session above twice. (I’d also done 6 x 2 minutes @ ~380W a couple of days before the race.)

Sophie was out that evening at her school’s prom, so I was very grateful my parents could come up to babysit. Gussy was a bit unsettled in the afternoon before the race. I took her out for a walk after Sophie had gone out and before my parents had arrived. Focusing on soothing Gussy in the time that I'd usually be feeling quite nervous pre-race worked out quite well. I wasn't thinking about racing. Had she not settled, I wouldn't have gone. But, she fell asleep, my parents arrived and they were very happy to look after her while I headed out.

On the ride to the TT, I felt relaxed and genuinely grateful for the opportunity to race. I did my usual short clearing effort on the course, chatted to a few people and then headed to the start.

Chris Dines, a TT regular, said on Strava that I looked like I just rolled up last minute. That was how it felt, too!

I don't think I've ever been as laid back at the start as I was that day. I started very relaxed, kept position tight and power felt like it was coming naturally. I purposefully didn’t push too much and was happy riding at 310-320W as there was a tailwind and speed was fine.

I had a clean run over the first two RABs and then caught my minute man, Hama, towards the approach to the garden centre RAB. I got caught behind two cars one in each lane which meant I had to slow but I then got lucky with a lorry giving me a tow as I headed south into the headwind.

I tried to keep speed >30mph as much as possible while also trying to avoid letting my cadence drop below 85rpm too much. It’s a delicate balance. Riding at a lower cadence is fine for the last few minutes but it is quite tiring.

I had a clean run over the middle RAB again and then I was behind an ambulance on the approach to the Hop Farm turn but it didn’t slow me too much. Northbound again fine. Much cleaner garden centre RAB turn than the first time.

Then I was all in trying to keep speed as high as possible before getting lucky again with another lorry at the Hop Farm RAB and burying myself trying to stay with it — 400W for the last few minutes!

I was shocked and delighted with a PB on this course, especially after having a handful of disappointing races last year, but the way I approached it was what I am most happy with. I genuinely enjoyed it and raced smart. Exactly what I want to be doing.

The day after, I got a message from Neil with the image above saying he’d run my race data through Golden Cheetah. I don't fully understand it, so I'll quote Neil: "The green line is elevation, or CdA. When blue diverges down, it means CdA is lower, and vice versa. On a perfectly still day, those lines should match exactly (if position stays the same). Very little divergence on that graph, so shows not much wind impact."

In a nutshell: conditions/traffic more than made up for hold ups. I.e. I’d won the East Peckham Lottery!

The day after the race, I did my 100k round trip commute for a work summer conference, then drove to Devon in the evening. I didn’t take my bike, so I had a week off the bike and did a bit of running while there – around 3 hours in total.

Nutrition

One area that I’ve always found difficult, especially with cycling, is nutrition. It’s one thing knowing what to eat, but it’s another actually doing it.

I always enjoy how big life changes – having a child, getting married, moving house, etc. – can act as an opportunity to ‘reset’. I didn’t plan to, but I ended up overhauling how I ate after Gussy was born. 

It happened quite organically. I was wary of falling into the trap of eating rubbish food because you’re tired and then not making good food choices because it’s easier to just chuck something in the oven, or order a takeaway. 

As I wasn’t doing much on the bike, I mostly ate lots of different fruits and vegetables and kept carbs lower than usual. I also wanted to make sure the meals I cooked for Sophie were nutritious as she was breastfeeding, so it’d be indirectly affecting Gussy as well. 

I ended up losing quite a bit of weight. I usually hover around 83-85kg depending on the time of year, and I was 83kg before Gussy was born. In the first two months I dropped down to 77kg and I’ve been there or thereabouts ever since. 

This is what I mean when I wrote above about big life changes presenting the opportunity to reset. I think it’s easy to approach these transitional phases of life with a high level of resistance because things will never be the same, nor can they ever go back to how they were. 

Cycling has been a big part of my life since 2016. It started as a tool to help with mental health, then turned into commuting in 2017. A first taste of competitive (for me) cycling followed with the Kentish Killer and my first TT in April 2018. I've done the odd TT since then...

Writing this blog post has been cathartic and made me realise how my relationship with cycling has evolved over the years – sometimes for the better; sometimes for the worse – and this evolution has undoubtedly been for the better.

What next?

In theory, a 10 on the East Peckham course on 9 September, but I’m not doing any specific training for it as it’s probably a coin flip as to whether it’ll be cancelled.

Other than that, there are a handful of 25s in September. I need to decide on which to enter this week as they’re all open time trials, but I’ll probably do a couple towards the end of the month. As always, Gussy will have the final say :) 

Closing thoughts

The seismic life change that is becoming a parent wasn’t especially surprising. We knew our lives were going to be forever changed – and very much for the better – and, as I’ve said, we felt as ready for that as we could be. We spoke about how our lives were set up in a way that a baby would actually fit quite nicely, although our lives definitely now revolve around Gussy, as they should.

But what has been surprising is how becoming a dad has forced me to be present. I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve been living hour to hour, day to day with a sole focus before. That, for me, has been an incredible gift. Not thinking about what happened in the past, or able to think too far ahead, but being obliged and permitted to be in the moment with Gussy because that’s what she needs. It’s very special and I don’t take it for granted. It’s allowed me to enjoy the highs, the unbridled joy that a newborn brings into the world, while not dwelling on the inevitable lows.

Every evening, having done a full day of work, cooked dinner, done the dishes, tidied up and given Gussy a bottle, I get into bed and I’m knackered. But it’s the best kind of tired. One that comes with a proud sense of purpose that today has been a good day; today, we were good enough. And tomorrow we get to do it all over again.

Thanks for reading.