Where's Farage?

To preface this blog post I'd like you to read 'Farage' as Fa-rij or a rhyme of the place you park your car - garage. Not only does it sound foreign but it's also full of crap nobody wants or needs.

Nigel Farage is bloody everywhere. It's as if I'm living in a world where Where's Wally?'s arch-nemesis There's Wally! has created an infinite number of everyday life situations, but substituted the shy, stripey-jumper-wearing lad for a foghorn in sheepskin (there's a "wolf in sheep's clothing" pun in there somewhere but this blog is a low thrill, no-budget operation so make your own).

I was listening to Radio 4 yesterday, because I like to pretend I'm cultured, and shortly after The World at One they announced the expert in failure (eighth time lucky, Nige) would be on next. Why? The usual response is because he's an MEP and an expert (says who, Lady Farage?) on the EU. Why always Nigel? There are SEVENTY-THREE UK MEPs. If you can name any of the other seventy-two I'll be mightily impressed. Feel free to write their names on the back of a blank cheque and send them in.

Farage is nothing more than a political wind-up-merchant that pisses people off then hides behind technicalities. He's essentially Randall from Recess (would that makes Tresemmé Mrs Finster?). I hope that if/when the public have had enough of him that he'll be sent to live in that bus somewhere in Eastern Europe, though that wouldn't be fair on the Eastern Europeans, what have they ever done to deserve Farage?

I would genuinely vote for Mrs Finster over Theresa May

I don't know much about the EU but I voted to Remain because David Cameron told me to. I figured that if he went to all that trouble to hold a referendum on a decision of which he was certain, why should I go against that? Also, Life Pro Tip: in any difficult situation that you find yourself in, ask yourself 'What would Nigel do?' then do the opposite. It's foolproof.