Kicking the world and the habit of working hard

The image I created to go with this article only exists because the equivalent stock image had words written all over it. I am a big fan of outsourcing all work and responsibility where possible. Not only does it give others a sense of purpose and encourage hard work but it also gives me the opportunity to nap.

I'm not yet a qualified life coach but as soon as I get the money to pay for the certificate am I intend to preach the importance of naps. The long-term plan is to start a cult and encourage rich people to join until I have enough money to kick the world, as shown above, or build a to-scale leg and hurl it at the planet from Space. Doubtless logistics will decide which.

These incoherent ramblings lead me nicely onto a piece of micro fiction I wrote back in March:

In the beginning

The world ends. Colin grumbles, turns it off and back on. He kicks it and a whirring sound comes from Africa. The toe of his shoe is now soaked in seawater. He takes off his shoe and sock and places them on the radiator. The kettle threatens to whistle. Unsticking a spoon from the worktop, he dips it into the jar and scoops coffee granules into a caffeine-stained mug. He pours in the boiling water, stirs the contents and places the spoon back where he found it. Sitting at his desk, Colin puts the cup onto a pile of papers titled Middle East and opens a packet of biscuits.

I know what you're thinking and the answer is 'It depends'. It isn't clear what day of the week this happened and therefore we cannot identify what brand of biscuit Colin opened (you'd not catch Colin with a custard cream on a Tuesday!). I'd hazard a guess at Bourbons or Hobnobs.