Adulthood is a trap

Being 26 makes me a fully-qualified adult. Unfortunately the transition to adulthood is a lot like evolving Pokémon in that once you evolve you can't devolve. Unlike evolving your Pokémon, adulthood is not optional and is forced upon you by miserable adults that made the fatal mistake of leaving their den.

Adulthood isn't all bad though. There's marriage which is essentially always having a Player Two to help you do life. As an added bonus, yours and their parents aren't in charge of when they go home and, if you want, they can sleep over all the time. You don't even need to ask anybody's permission or anything.

Like many parts of life adulthood contains grey areas. The greyest of all grey areas is food. Deciding what to eat and when is actually a lot harder than you'd think. As a child, the idea of going into a shop and buying whatever you wanted was the stuff of dreams. As an adult it's a nightmare. There are so many things you should and shouldn't do: eat more vegetables, more fruit, more fibre, free-range, gluten-free, wheat-free, low in saturated fat, high in protein, high in good fats (wait is fat good or bad?) the list goes on. When you were a child, your parents decided what you ate and that was probably a good thing. At least it was in my case. 

I eat pudding at least once a day. Recently I had pudding after lunch, I wasn't at a restaurant or anything, I just had a sandwich and a bag of fruit pastilles. Later I had dinner and got another pudding. I didn't get told off. I drink a lot of choccy milk, when I eat cereal (which is essentially any hour of the day) I flood it in chocolate milk. Again, no repercussions. Living such a wild life is bound to catch up with me but they're risks I'm willing to take.

No doubt my recklessness will come back to bite me if I ever stumble into parenthood. The thought of having to assume a role of responsibility terrifies me. How can I tell the children they can’t have choccy milk on their Weetabix when I’m eating Hobnobs for breakfast?